you have 2 cows

[Steve]

Found this on the Tigertailz message board, thought you might like it.

CHRISTIANITY: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes one and gives it to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows is transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.


THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, burn both cows and block the road with their smoking carcasses, because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CAPITALISM: You have 5000 cows. None of them belongs to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

INDIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You worship them.

BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CAPITALISM: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they liberate your country by turning it into a civil war zone. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy.

AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

WELSH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

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[broapouri]

This is the beginning of a lot of humorous explanation of different ideologies, religions, opinion on life, etc., etc.. I find them quite funny at least a few of them, and I was wondering if you got any cool to share?

Some of my favorites:

Optimism - You have two cows. You hope they make a third.
Pessimism - You have two cows. You sell them both to be able to afford milk.
Realism - You have two cows.

[broapouri]

Neils job doesnt allow him access to the BBS in the day, I believe.

As others have said, I would trust him totally. He knows lots of people and isnt one for idle speculation of wild rumour... he will have posted what he said in good faith and, unfortunately, as is so often the case further detail cant always be given for fear of dropping people in it.

Its always frustrating because we are all desperate for information and beyond that for a resolution to all this. Many people will hear different things, not all of it will be correct, but I would say for certain that Neil is one of those people you can trust not to lead us up the garden path. I know for certain Neils loyalty to Palace is second to none.

[broapouri]

Hi everyone,
Have you gotten to the point where the hunger for more clix stops or is close to stopping. Where you feel like youre happy with what you got? I kind of do. I have both Chase Superman KC and Earth-2, 2 Crisis Sinestro,   2 Legacy KC Flash, Superman Prime,Doomsday, Spectre and a lot of others like the heralds and all the HoT les. The only few that I want and are missing are KC Green Lantern, Legacy Ares, Magog, Unleashed Superman, and Crisis Flash.
Well, that is until the Brave and the Bold set and the Blackest Night Set.
So how do you feel with what you have, and what do you want or wish you had?

[broapouri]

Im a total geek, but not in the, "I cant get a girlfriend, I stalk girls, dont take showers, dont have a life, speak Klingonese, cos-play LARPing, still live in my moms basement, poor sport loser" geek.

Im a geek in the sense Im in my mid-30s and I still buy comic book and video game toys.  I own over 20 game consoles, and over 5,000 video games, my house is covered wall to wall with video game and fantasy posters, I still buy and read comic books and play video games geek.  I also have an entire walk-in closet full of video game and comic book shirts. Im a RPG player, board player, card game, and table top miniature player.

I even helped make a movie about dorks and geeks.  Some of you may have heard of it:  Gamers: Dorkness Rising.  Its the sequel to The Gamers. It can be found in most comic, gaming, and hobby shops, including most malls around America.

[myz1235]

World of Warcraft power leveling,
In the north of China,World of Warcraft power leveling there lies a 6,700-kilometer-long (4,161-mile-long) ancient wall. Now well-known as the Great Wall of China, it starts at the Jiayuguan Pass of Gansu Province in the west and ends at the Shanhaiguan Pass of Hebei Province in the east. As one of the Eight Wonders in the world, the Great Wall of China has become the symbol of the Chinese nation and its culture.
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Lots of beautiful legends and stories about the Great Wall took place following along the construction, and since that time these stories have spread around the country. Those that happened during construction are abundant, such as Meng Jiangnu's story and the legend of the Jiayuguan Pass. Meng Jiangnu's story is the most famous and widely spread of all the legends about the Great Wall. The story happened during the Qin Dynasty (221BC-206BC). It tells of how Meng Jiangnu's bitter weeping made a section of the Great Wall collapse. Meng Jiangnu's husband Fan Qiliang was caught by federal officials and sent to build the Great Wall. Meng Jiangnu heard nothing from him after his departure, so she set out to look for him. Unfortunately, by the time she reached the great wall, she discovered that her husband had already died. Hearing the bad news, she cried her heart out. Her howl caused the collapse of a part of the Great Wall. This story indicates that the Great Wall is the production of tens of thousands of Chinese commoners.
aoc power leveling,
Another legend about the Jiayuguan Pass tells of a workman named Yi Kaizhan in the Ming Dynasty (1368BC-1644BC) who was proficient in arithmetic. He calculated that it would need 99,999 bricks to build the Jiayuguan Pass. World of Warcraft power leveling The supervisor did not believe him and said if they miscalculated by even one brick, wedding dresses then all the workmen would be punished to do hard work for three years. After the completion of the project, one brick was left
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behind the Xiwong city gate. wow gold The supervisor was happy at the sight of the brick and ready to punish them. However Yi Kaizhan said with deliberation that the brick was put there by a supernatural being to fix the wall. A tiny move would cause the collapse of the wall. Therefore the brick was kept there and never moved. It can still be found there today on the tower of the Jiayuguan Pass.
Final Fantasy XI GIL,
In addition to the above-mentioned stories about the construction of the Great Wall, there are also plenty of stories about current scenic spots.replica rolex  A famous one is the legend of the Beacon Tower. This story happened during the Western Zhou Dynasty (11th century BC-711 BC). King You had a queen named Bao Si, who was very pretty. King Youreplica rolex  liked her very much, however Bao Si never smiled. An official gave a suggestion that setting the beacon tower on fire would frighten the King's subjects, and might make the queen smile. King You liked the idea.Final Fantasy XI GIL The subjects were fooled and Bao Si smiled at the sight of the chaos. Later enemies invaded Western Zhou, King You set the beacon tower on fire to ask for help. No subjects came to help because they had been fooled once before. Thus, King Zhou was killed by the enemy and Western Zhou came to an end.
aion kinah,
Beautiful stories and legends about the Great Wall help to keep alive Chinese history and culture.aion kinah Final Fantasy XI GIL In each dynasty after the building of the Great Wall,  many more stories were created and spread.

[luoxiaosang]

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[emma438]

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